Couples Trauma Recovery and Life Coaching

Are you two fighting constantly and need a way back to the love, intimacy, and trust you once had?

I work with couples struggling to rekindle the spark that initially brought them together. Things have changed, and the happiness, love, and passion are dwindling. Now you feel like you are walking on eggshells, waiting for the next crack.

The couples I work with are successful hard workers, often executives, who expected their relationship to last for life. The reality of maintaining a home and finding joy, happiness, and fun is near impossible. Arguments happen, and both partners struggle with guilt, shame, and blame. The finger-pointing starts, is relentless, and must stop, or partners will turn to enemies.

Does any of this sound familiar?

• You both want to go home to see your partner, but simultaneously, you dread turning the key in the latch.
• You work overtime to escape going home.
• Mentally, you trace your steps to see if anything happened today at work that you can talk about that won’t hit a nerve.
• Sometimes, you can’t wait to have a drink, zone out on the TV, or play a video game so you can escape.

Trauma Recovery Work ALWAYS Leads to Better Relationships Once Partners are Healthy

While working with individuals with Trauma, as they learned new ways of being, their symptoms were less, and their interpersonal relationships with loved ones — family, partners, and friends significantly improved. My clients learned how Trauma impacted the brain, emotions, and other symptoms, which not only helped the person but positively impacted those around them.

If you are invested in making your relationship work, I can help:

• Usually, both partners need help seeing through the haze of the arguments to see their parts in it. I will clear the way.
• Relationship issues often begin from childhood trauma for at least one of the partners. That doesn’t make them at fault. The other partner might need to understand the situation more carefully.
• Communication styles can be one of the biggest problems. At some point, you started taking things so personally that you stopped listening to what your partner was honestly saying. Let me help you hear each other again.
• Another issue can be divergent attachment styles. One partner can be more needy and clingy, while the other can be distant, less verbal, and less romantic. Once we explain how to better meet each other’s needs things work smoother.

My Session Breakdown

How I work with couples is diverse. It’s not a cookie-cutter approach because of the couples’ diverse dynamics. Here are three common patterns I see with clients:

• First, I work with clients with minimal Trauma or none. They need to work through communication skills, differences in opinions, financial issues, intimacy, family issues, lack of boundaries, personal differences, and incompatibilities. These issues will also appear in my Trauma clients, so I won’t repeat them below.
• Next, one individual has a history of Trauma that is impacting their life now. Their partner is struggling, sometimes angry, lost, and doesn’t understand how to help. The client with Trauma needs to work on their Trauma, and their partner needs education on how Trauma impacts their significant other’s brain, emotions, and self-worth and on how they can support them. I guarantee this will bring the couple closer together.
• Next scenario, both partners have Trauma. Sometimes, they don’t even know it. One person comes in with Trauma, or they present with couple issues. Sometimes, the other partner is clueless that they have Trauma impacting them as well as the relationship. They would both need the trauma and couple work described in the last scenario.
• As individuals, you’ll learn how to handle difficult times and foster healing.
• You’ll learn how to support each other and improve how you live together.
• There will be plenty of learning to help you along.

We will do well together if you…

• Are determined to succeed
• Willing to learn new ways to communicate and deeply listen
• Want to learn coping strategies to regulate your nervous system, which will normalize your emotions
• Show up to our calls ready with a pad and pen
• Want to understand how to work with your brain to calm your reactions

Years of Trauma Recovery work with individuals naturally lead me to work with couples.

As I mentioned earlier, I found that in working with clients with a history of Trauma, especially childhood trauma, frequently they would struggle in relationships. Common symptoms of Trauma: negative attachment styles, lack of trust, emotional dysregulation, insecurities, sensitivities, communication difficulties, fear of abandonment, and difficulty dealing with stress lead to trouble managing relationships and frequent arguments. This work has given me tons of experience that I can use to help you. So, contact me today so we can stop the madness and start your journey toward a healthy, loving, fulfilling, and deeply connected relationship. I’m here for you.